The Trophy Partner

All of us have a fair idea of what we want our future partner to be like. The idea keeps on changing with time, meeting a stranger, being in a unsatisfying relationship, seeing someone else’s partner etc all contributing. With time the idea is so ideal and precise that we don’t find anyone matching it as no one we find is perfect. So then comes the stage which is called compromise. Compromising on the life partner we want to choose for ourselves. This leads to formation of a set of qualities which are non negotiable. Everyone has there own set of non negotiable qualities and start judging people on those. All the successful young people want there partners to be well educated, doing well in there careers, look good and have a modern outlook.( this is basis my discussion with some of the so called really successful people I know.) Not even once I debate that education or career are not important but what about the virtues like loving and caring? Why does that not figure in the list? What’s the definition is of well educated and well settled? Is it better than your best friend’s partner? Are not most of us looking for partners who are presentable to your friends/ social circle than one who is caring, loving and understanding? Few years ago I read in economic times a survey which said that people now use different toiletries (brands of soap/deo etc) not for themselves but to show to others. Is it happening with our life partners also?

I know so many people who are in a relationship of convenience. These are together because they have a feeling that there partners are presentable to friends/ family. Are these couples happy? Of course they are, both of them doing brilliant in careers, earning more than any of their friends. But do they mean the world for each other? Do they have a moment when they hold hands and forget the world? A lot of you may feel that’s being too romantic but isn’t it what love was supposed to be? That’s what companionship is all about? What people forget is that it is not a deal it’s a relationship. It has no reasons, it doesn’t have a cause and it’s not perfect.

A lot may still disagree but I feel that to lead a happy life and die a satisfied death one should chose a partner for them and not for people around them. It’s only the love and people that count at the end. A superficial life only leads to a lonely death.

Cheers to all those who are not looking for a Trophy Partner J